Category: Lessons learned

Christmas

HOLY ASSIGNMENTS

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Holy assignments carry the likelihood of scars and bruises. No one knew this better than Mary, the mother of Jesus. While some may glorify her life, I can’t help but think of the pain that she endured as a mother. Maybe now that I’m older with my own children, I can sympathize with the consecrated contradiction that flowed in and out of her life.

From the moment the angel messenger spoke the holy words about Mary’s future as the mother of the Savior of the world, her life became a poignant mix of blessing and pain. Just as oil and water can be poured together, but never fully become a new liquid, Mary carried both. She was the mother of the Savior of the world and an outcast who became pregnant without being married. She experienced the joy of obedience to the Lord and had to wonder what her betrothed, Joseph, would say about her news. Would he divorce her? Would he publicly shame her? Mary had a front row seat to Jesus’s miracles and a front row seat to the rejection that fell on him as he ministered. And what mother enjoys seeing her child rejected? She was fully present in all the pain and joy of birthing a child from her young body and fully present in the gruesome crucifixion of the same baby she lovingly swaddled 33 years prior. The blessings in Mary’s life flowed hand in hand with the bruises.

A mentor whispered to me several years ago, “no one gets through this life unscathed.” I didn’t much like her words of wisdom. They fell on ears that didn’t want to receive the reality of this fallen world. But I look at Mary and understand a little more about why this happens. I understand that even though a path is ordained and anointed by the Lord, the obedience that comes with walking it carries the risk of being battered by it.

But in the same breath, the holy assignment is worth the scars. Who is our true witness to this paradigm? The man of sorrows, Mary’s boy child, the savior of the world. There is no more worshipful experience than bringing the sacrifice of praise to the feet of the one who was bruised for you. He was truly despised, rejected and acquainted with grief. He understood the assignment. Because He did, you can, too. You can walk where blessings and bruises flow together, standing firm, knowing that the Lord was pleased to bruise the man of sorrows because it brought righteousness to His people. (Isaiah 53:1-12)

Your holy assignment will likely bring bruises to you, too. Blessings will flow side by side next to pain. It will be messy. It will be exhilarating. It will be completely worth it all.

Lessons learned

AM I BEHIND?

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Have you ever just felt, well, behind? The train has come and gone down the tracks and you didn’t even know you needed to be at the station?  Behind like you look back and have so many dreams that you were ready to seize but instead you are sitting at swimming lessons or standing in lines to get into a decent preschool?  Others your age are having family vacations with other families and you can’t even save enough to go out of town for the weekend without feeling budget deflated?

Just flat behind.

I’m there. Right now. I feel it.

I feel like I am too old to be doing 4th grade math.

When you hit 40, shouldn’t you be living in your dream house already?

Retirement?  Ummmm, maybe we should get on that.

What do you mean I’m “middle-aged?” I just graduated from college 25 years ago!

What is this TikTok thing? Is it new?

I feel all my aspirations of being an amazing contributor to society have been stomped on by tiny, plastic dinosaur feet. And those dinosaurs don’t care at all! They just roar at me all day long.

My heart struggles not with seeing others that are on that darn train, but with the question of “when.”

When?

When is my train coming? Am I really just straggling behind OR was I LEFT behind because I just wasn’t meant to go down that path? Do I resign myself to the here and now OR do I look forward and BELIEVE the dreams that were placed in my spirit are from a Father that really cares for me.

Am I the only one feeling this way? I’m guessing not, friend! Some of you have dreams and hopes that you’ve been holding tightly to and reality is just not cooperating.

I think of dear Elizabeth, the cousin of Jesus’s mother, Mary. I’m sure Elizabeth felt behind. Years of wondering why everyone else had a child left her with years of tears and questions. BUT she found herself with child when others her age were bouncing grandbabies on their knee. (Luke 1:7-25)

Was she behind? No. She was tucked away for a purpose. Elizabeth’s dream of being a mother wouldn’t have unfolded in any more perfect way. The spectacular plan formed by a loving God was the best unveiling of hope that Elizabeth could ever dream of. She knew she wasn’t behind. She was chosen for that season. Her baby was chosen for that season, too.

To rejoice in the place where you are, brings faith to a place where hope can be ignited.  The babe in Elizabeth’s womb rejoiced when the mother of Jesus approached. (Luke 1:41) I suspect that the faith that rose up in Elizabeth concerning not only the child she was carrying, but her cousin’s baby planted hope. They were exactly where they needed to be and the timing was blessed.

God did not let Elizabeth be left behind. He won’t leave you behind either! If God has given you dreams, He will be faithful to bring them to pass. In fact, His timing is beyond what we could ever fully understand. He will turn your barren seasons into glorious answered prayers. He cares about the desires of your heart, because He is the one that planted them there.

So, do I still feel behind? Sometimes I sure do. But I will practice rejoicing in the days where I find myself now. I choose to have faith that the Lord will bring forth the dreams and promises that are hidden in my spirit. And you should too! Cling to the confidence that you are not left behind, you are tucked away for purpose and your season is coming into view!

“For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

Lessons learned

THE DAY I MET JERRY

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My eyes caught a glimpse of him. The salt and pepper scraggles poking out of his beard drew my attention. I motioned toward my husband with my eyes and head. We surveyed the weather worn straw hat, saw the heavy glasses held together with duct tape and caught a glance of the shirt that he had tucked carefully into his dirt packed jeans held up by a worn-out leather belt. And then we cringed. His shoes were nothing but the remnants of some old work boots literally wrapped with tape. No soles, toes poking through, but meticulously laced with a portion of shoestring. My breath left me when I watched him walk out of the store leaning on a cane as his feet literally turned onto his ankles. He was walking on his ankles as though they were the bottoms of his feet. And he hobbled out as though it was normal. We followed him knowing our path had to meet his.


He had been in the store on a desperate hunt for new shoes, but his search was complicated by his shoe size, 15EEE. I was determined to locate a pair of shoes for this soul. I was confident that God would provide them. I knew our meeting was arranged by Him. There was a pair of size 15EEE in this town and they were ordained for this time. I stepped away and frantically began calling each and every shoe store that Google could find. Nothing. Nothing even close. How could that be? This man needed shoes and my God provides. God drew my eye and my heart toward this man. He put me there to help provide for this need. What do you mean there isn’t a size 15EEE in this town?
I gathered my emotions and walked back to where my husband was visiting with him. I shook my head when my husband looked at me. I couldn’t find any. The man was not surprised. He shared how a church had gifted him a size 16 but they didn’t fit. They hurt his feet. He was content to drag around his taped boots rather than have his feet hurt.


And then my spirit was rattled. I offered to pray over him not thinking there was anything else we could do. Our new friend, Jerry, said he believed God would heal him. Pray for that. Ouch! While I had been diligently searching for what I saw as Jerry’s greatest need, I should have looked with my spiritual eyes. His greatest need was simply to be healed. He knew it and he believed it would happen. Why had I not thought of that first?
There are those in this world who see things with those keen, spiritual goggles. They recognize the child not reading as needing security, not phonics. They see the mom yelling in the grocery store not as out of control but as exhausted and needing 5 minutes peace.


The greatest need of any individual at any given time is probably not what we see on the outside. The layers of what is visible only hide the sores, the wounds, or maybe cover the hopes and beliefs that keep getting buried under the distractions so prominent to our physical eyes. In Jerry’s case, beyond-repair boots versus his desire to be healed. I only saw the boots.


I am guilty of being a “fixer” and I find myself trying to fix what isn’t necessarily the biggest (or real?) need. Why is this? Why can’t we all see straight to the hidden, straight to the tender places in the soul, instead of trying to guess based on our own observation? Why can’t we carry our pair of spiritual goggles tucked discreetly in our belt ready to whip out at a moment’s notice? Well, how often do we even take time to look? How often do we take time to listen? My tendency to “fix” has to yield to asking the Holy Spirit for his revelation and allowing him to take the lead.

Jerry hobbled on his way that day. I almost couldn’t bear to watch him as he struggled down the sidewalk. I secretly hoped that he was actually an angel in disguise and that God just needed to teach me a lesson. I didn’t want to believe I couldn’t help him in some way or that he left our meeting without a visible healing. I don’t know where he slept that night or if he ever found any boots to fit him. I don’t know if his feet were ever miraculously turned to the correct position or if he still hobbles on his ankles. I only know and have confidence in the fact that our God is a healer of both the visible and the carefully-hidden wounds. I know that when the Healer hands me my own spiritual goggles, I only have to do what He tells me. I don’t have to try and fix anything on my own. I just have to listen and obey. The healing isn’t my assignment. Being available is. Thank you, Jerry, for reminding me of this.