Tag: faith

Lessons learned

AM I BEHIND?

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Have you ever just felt, well, behind? The train has come and gone down the tracks and you didn’t even know you needed to be at the station?  Behind like you look back and have so many dreams that you were ready to seize but instead you are sitting at swimming lessons or standing in lines to get into a decent preschool?  Others your age are having family vacations with other families and you can’t even save enough to go out of town for the weekend without feeling budget deflated?

Just flat behind.

I’m there. Right now. I feel it.

I feel like I am too old to be doing 4th grade math.

When you hit 40, shouldn’t you be living in your dream house already?

Retirement?  Ummmm, maybe we should get on that.

What do you mean I’m “middle-aged?” I just graduated from college 25 years ago!

What is this TikTok thing? Is it new?

I feel all my aspirations of being an amazing contributor to society have been stomped on by tiny, plastic dinosaur feet. And those dinosaurs don’t care at all! They just roar at me all day long.

My heart struggles not with seeing others that are on that darn train, but with the question of “when.”

When?

When is my train coming? Am I really just straggling behind OR was I LEFT behind because I just wasn’t meant to go down that path? Do I resign myself to the here and now OR do I look forward and BELIEVE the dreams that were placed in my spirit are from a Father that really cares for me.

Am I the only one feeling this way? I’m guessing not, friend! Some of you have dreams and hopes that you’ve been holding tightly to and reality is just not cooperating.

I think of dear Elizabeth, the cousin of Jesus’s mother, Mary. I’m sure Elizabeth felt behind. Years of wondering why everyone else had a child left her with years of tears and questions. BUT she found herself with child when others her age were bouncing grandbabies on their knee. (Luke 1:7-25)

Was she behind? No. She was tucked away for a purpose. Elizabeth’s dream of being a mother wouldn’t have unfolded in any more perfect way. The spectacular plan formed by a loving God was the best unveiling of hope that Elizabeth could ever dream of. She knew she wasn’t behind. She was chosen for that season. Her baby was chosen for that season, too.

To rejoice in the place where you are, brings faith to a place where hope can be ignited.  The babe in Elizabeth’s womb rejoiced when the mother of Jesus approached. (Luke 1:41) I suspect that the faith that rose up in Elizabeth concerning not only the child she was carrying, but her cousin’s baby planted hope. They were exactly where they needed to be and the timing was blessed.

God did not let Elizabeth be left behind. He won’t leave you behind either! If God has given you dreams, He will be faithful to bring them to pass. In fact, His timing is beyond what we could ever fully understand. He will turn your barren seasons into glorious answered prayers. He cares about the desires of your heart, because He is the one that planted them there.

So, do I still feel behind? Sometimes I sure do. But I will practice rejoicing in the days where I find myself now. I choose to have faith that the Lord will bring forth the dreams and promises that are hidden in my spirit. And you should too! Cling to the confidence that you are not left behind, you are tucked away for purpose and your season is coming into view!

“For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

Lessons learned

THE DAY I MET JERRY

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My eyes caught a glimpse of him. The salt and pepper scraggles poking out of his beard drew my attention. I motioned toward my husband with my eyes and head. We surveyed the weather worn straw hat, saw the heavy glasses held together with duct tape and caught a glance of the shirt that he had tucked carefully into his dirt packed jeans held up by a worn-out leather belt. And then we cringed. His shoes were nothing but the remnants of some old work boots literally wrapped with tape. No soles, toes poking through, but meticulously laced with a portion of shoestring. My breath left me when I watched him walk out of the store leaning on a cane as his feet literally turned onto his ankles. He was walking on his ankles as though they were the bottoms of his feet. And he hobbled out as though it was normal. We followed him knowing our path had to meet his.


He had been in the store on a desperate hunt for new shoes, but his search was complicated by his shoe size, 15EEE. I was determined to locate a pair of shoes for this soul. I was confident that God would provide them. I knew our meeting was arranged by Him. There was a pair of size 15EEE in this town and they were ordained for this time. I stepped away and frantically began calling each and every shoe store that Google could find. Nothing. Nothing even close. How could that be? This man needed shoes and my God provides. God drew my eye and my heart toward this man. He put me there to help provide for this need. What do you mean there isn’t a size 15EEE in this town?
I gathered my emotions and walked back to where my husband was visiting with him. I shook my head when my husband looked at me. I couldn’t find any. The man was not surprised. He shared how a church had gifted him a size 16 but they didn’t fit. They hurt his feet. He was content to drag around his taped boots rather than have his feet hurt.


And then my spirit was rattled. I offered to pray over him not thinking there was anything else we could do. Our new friend, Jerry, said he believed God would heal him. Pray for that. Ouch! While I had been diligently searching for what I saw as Jerry’s greatest need, I should have looked with my spiritual eyes. His greatest need was simply to be healed. He knew it and he believed it would happen. Why had I not thought of that first?
There are those in this world who see things with those keen, spiritual goggles. They recognize the child not reading as needing security, not phonics. They see the mom yelling in the grocery store not as out of control but as exhausted and needing 5 minutes peace.


The greatest need of any individual at any given time is probably not what we see on the outside. The layers of what is visible only hide the sores, the wounds, or maybe cover the hopes and beliefs that keep getting buried under the distractions so prominent to our physical eyes. In Jerry’s case, beyond-repair boots versus his desire to be healed. I only saw the boots.


I am guilty of being a “fixer” and I find myself trying to fix what isn’t necessarily the biggest (or real?) need. Why is this? Why can’t we all see straight to the hidden, straight to the tender places in the soul, instead of trying to guess based on our own observation? Why can’t we carry our pair of spiritual goggles tucked discreetly in our belt ready to whip out at a moment’s notice? Well, how often do we even take time to look? How often do we take time to listen? My tendency to “fix” has to yield to asking the Holy Spirit for his revelation and allowing him to take the lead.

Jerry hobbled on his way that day. I almost couldn’t bear to watch him as he struggled down the sidewalk. I secretly hoped that he was actually an angel in disguise and that God just needed to teach me a lesson. I didn’t want to believe I couldn’t help him in some way or that he left our meeting without a visible healing. I don’t know where he slept that night or if he ever found any boots to fit him. I don’t know if his feet were ever miraculously turned to the correct position or if he still hobbles on his ankles. I only know and have confidence in the fact that our God is a healer of both the visible and the carefully-hidden wounds. I know that when the Healer hands me my own spiritual goggles, I only have to do what He tells me. I don’t have to try and fix anything on my own. I just have to listen and obey. The healing isn’t my assignment. Being available is. Thank you, Jerry, for reminding me of this.


out of focus lights on rainy weather
Taking thoughts captive

AUTO-CORRECT

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My name is Amy Cravey.  Yes, I know. It sounds a little like “crazy” and can be confused with “gravy.” In fact, my father-in-law suggested naming our daughter Biscuits Ann so that she would have a yummy, southern name.  I didn’t go for it, obviously.  

However, the mail I get shows that people just can’t process the name “Cravey” for some reason. I get mail addressed to the “Carvey Family.” They sound like a nice family. Sometimes it comes to the “Crarey’s,” which is about as confusing as “Cravey.”  I have just gotten used to always spelling my name. C-R-A-V as in Victor-E-Y. And inevitably the person I am spelling it to gets a quirky smile on their face. 

It’s at that moment that I know even though I carefully spelled my name, they auto-corrected in their mind. I know, I spelled it out, but they heard “CRAZY” and they typed it in that way too. Their minds reverted to what they “thought” they heard, not what I actually said.  If I had a dollar for every time this has happened–well, you know. BUT it happens. Over and over it happens. 

You know we do that in other areas of our lives, too.  For example, when stress hits hard, we might revert back to old eating habits even though we have faithfully been munching on lentils and carrots for 6 months. When scary diagnoses are spoken, the fear rises, even though we say we trust the Lord with our life. We auto-correct to what we used to know, what we think we know, or how we think our reactions should play out. 

Have you ever been in a situation where someone is just confidently calm in the midst of chaos? Every bit of them is just operating against what the circumstances seem to dictate. They did NOT auto-correct. They weren’t swayed by their emotions or memories or previous triggers. They just stood. Grounded.

The Bible tells us in Romans 12: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.” 

So, here we go. One way to not auto-correct in situations and events that might be less than fabulous in our lives is the daily discipline of renewing our minds. What does that mean? Good stuff in and bad stuff out! If you’re wallowing in all the doom and gloom, then your reaction is going to be doom and gloom. If you’re filling your mind with the good stuff, it’s going to be so much harder to auto-correct to doom and gloom when your life gets jiggled around.  

Ephesians 4:31-32 says “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”  

Making a habit of forgiving and releasing people who hurt you lessens the chance that you cling to offense and, in return, poison yourself.  And boy oh boy, we sure think we are entitled to hold onto grudges and judgments against others. Heads up, buttercup– holding onto offense doesn’t give us power. It sucks the life out of us! It’s like drinking poison and thinking it will hurt our offender. Stop it.

Auto-correcting to our fleshly responses never ends well. And it’s hard! It’s soooo hard to practice daily the renewing of our minds and the releasing of our offenses. But I don’t want to be known as the person who overreacts when trouble comes. I don’t want to feel wobbly and unstable when fear tries to creep in. I don’t want to fly off the handle in a barrage of rambling words when I feel judged or pressured.  I don’t want to auto-correct to “CRAZY.” I don’t! 

And I don’t want you to auto-correct to what you used to know, what you think you know or how you think your reactions should play out. Join me. Practice renewing and releasing. Let’s put an end to our auto-correct kind of life and embrace peace, confidence and security in knowing our reactions are grounded in Christ and not influenced by things we have already put behind us.