When the boy in our home started kindergarten, some major mountains began to slide ominously into our line of sight. Misguided words spoken by experts caused much pain and doubt in my heart. I desperately desired to do what was right by my son. I desperately desired to do what was right by my Heavenly Father. The tug between what the expert said and what I knew in my heart shredded the confidence I had as a mom.

One evening I was sitting in a class at church. My heart and mind were turned to auto-pilot out of sheer exhaustion from the weight I was carrying. I closed my eyes during a time of worship, and God hijacked my thoughts.

In my glorified imagination, I saw myself walking hand-in-hand with my son to the throne of God. It was apparent to me that the Lord wanted me to leave my son there, in the throne room with Him.

In my mind, I dropped my son’s hand and took a few steps in reverse, never turning my back to God. I kneeled down to the floor, sat back on my knees and waited with my hands in my lap. I never took my eyes off of my son. The Lord said, “Try again.” So, I tried again.

I repeated it…. the hand-in-hand walk with my son to the throne. I dropped his hand once more, turned to walk out, and got closer to leaving, but just couldn’t do it.

God asked me, “Why can’t you trust your son with me? I love him far more than you do.” Ummmmm . . . ouch.

Well, third time’s a charm. I boldly walked to the throne of God, left my son with Him, and confidently walked away. My son never tried to go with me or even give the faintest inkling that he didn’t want to stay with the Lord. And while I know that we don’t really have any idea what the Lord might look like, I was left with the impression of His loving smile delighting over my son.

What a lesson the Lord taught me that night! My words had always declared that my children were merely gifts from the Lord, and while my heart genuinely echoed that, somewhere deep in my spirit there was doubt. That night, the Lord revealed to me that He couldn’t work in a place where I wasn’t seeing Him as trustworthy. That night, I had to lay down the protection I thought I was providing over my son, and walk away.

The Lord had been so merciful to me as He allowed me to practice the process of letting go, in my mind, until I got it right. What a sweet strategy He showed me that night! Our glorified imagination can really weave patterns of obedience and bravery that we can follow up with our actions.

The events following that encounter were miraculous. After I was able to fully trust the Lord with my son, all the mountains that had been put in our way were removed. The Lord showed up and revealed a root cause of the issue my son was having. He provided a God-fearing teacher who spoke life and encouragement. I was able to cast all of those expert words under my feet as I walked out the victory that the Lord had for my son.

Would we have experienced that victory if I had maintained that tight grip? Maybe. But I believe that my desire to shelter the little man in my life was also sheltering him from the breakthrough that his loving Heavenly Father had destined for him. My grip on my son’s hand mirrored the tight grip I had on the situation we found ourselves in. I was preventing any and all interference, and that included the mercy of the Lord.

Oh, the things the Lord can do if we just let go and lay it down. Friend, lay down what you are holding tightly in your hand. The Lord is trustworthy. Let go and watch Him work.

“They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast trusting in the Lord.”

Psalm 112:7